She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
