tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
