covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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