bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
