"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
