It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
vagina is talking i cant
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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