i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize