we have pet lesbian snakes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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