I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
