dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
