its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
