Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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