just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
