oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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