I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
