Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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