that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
