I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
