no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
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Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Enjoy the penises
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