now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My pussy is not your playground.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
