We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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