I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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