it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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