and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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