How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
