A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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