You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we're making bets on your personal life
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
