Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
