I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
