watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
