Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
