Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
