By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize