I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
