I'm drive I can fine osifer
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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