I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
