i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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