We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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