While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I need water and some morals
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
