I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So squirting runs in the family.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
