I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
