You're so nebulous sometimes
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
