bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
