Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
