i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
