make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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