so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
