After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
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I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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