whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
