well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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