At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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