Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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