you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
