I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
