I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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