i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
