standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize