Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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