We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm getting married
To pizza
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
