Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
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Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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