Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just fell off a train. Bad.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
