I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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