If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
