so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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