It's like God shit irony all over that family
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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