i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
