The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
