My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my shit smells like andre
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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