her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
